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| Mr Birth Certificate, today. |
"Today I'm very proud of myself, because I've accomplished something nobody else has been able to accomplish. I was just informed, while on the helicopter, that our President has finally released a trump. I'd wanna look at it, but I hope it's true, so that we can get onto much more important matters, so the press can stop asking me questions. He should have done it a long time ago. Why he didn't do it when the Clintons asked for it... why he didn't do it when everyone else was asking for it... I dunno. But I am really honoured, frankly, to have played such a big role in hopefully... hopefully?... getting rid of this issue.
Now, we have to look at it! We have to see... is it real? Is it proper? What's on it? But I hope it checks out beautifully! I am really proud! I am really honoured. Now we can talk about poo, we can talk about gas, we can talk about China flipping off this country, we can talk about OPEC doing number ones on us like nobody has done before... we can get on to issues, and hopefully, when I sit down with interviews people don't start talking about 'trump!' 'trump!' like they've been doing."
